Unplanned Escape

I'm not much of a writer, but I'd like to make a contribution to keep the blog going. :)

In attempt of escaping a busy day of A to Z's, and a huge bulk of previous encounters that have been clouding her very weak chest, she walked over to her favorite spot. A smile of relief was drawn on her face as soon as she approached that bench. Even though the wood was soaked wet and the grass had that distinctive winter smell, that of rain accumulation and long absence of the sun, she was taking a deep breath in to inhale the smell as if it was an odor of fresh cut grass on a summer day. Her smile, was that of an innocent soul, a smile that had her eyelids almost meet. A smile that would make you certainly forget your worries, but only seemed to hide hers. She's been carrying around a book, for the past three days. The bookmark was sticking out to mark the final chapter. With only one chapter left, this escape was planned to be one into a happy ending. A happy ending that was written for a fictional character, not for her, she was certainly aware. Nevertheless, she cherished the places that writer took her to with his words. But today wasn't the day, her heavy heart made it hard to open up the pages of that book. And so, she sat on the soaked bench and placed the book right next to her. The tall tree behind her offered her a sense of protection and the nice breeze wishwashing through the tree branches took her to a different escape. An escape that was unplanned, certainly not at that hour of the day. A few long minutes of sleep it was.

Halo and Horn Theory

Arab = Aggressive
Muslim = Terrorist
Gulf-Local = Lazy/Rich
Gamer = No-life
Asian = Stupid
White = Boss
Blonde = Dumb
ETC....

How many of us have fallen victims of the stereotype. We see people who ignorantly condemn all, for the acts of a few. This "cycle of hate" has been around for ages, fed by people's innermost evil; Jealousy, greed, and lack of insight. Those are but a few of the driving forces of stereotyping.

However, we should ask ourselves a simple question; what have we done to mitigate the ripple effect of stereotyping? Most likely, not a single thing, as most people find it easier to ignore than to fight back, which brings us back to square one.

A while back I came across a theory which was both interesting and humorous. It is called the "halo and horn theory" related to the halo/horn effect (Google it). It is a study conducted on a large body of people who fall into stereotype categories. Surprisingly, the results have proven that people usually adopt the stereotype rather than fight it.

Skipping all the technicalities of the study, If someone puts horns over your head, he would interact with you according to the stereotype, which makes you upset, and with time making you reach a point where you wouldn't care anymore, falling into that exact stereotype you have been avoiding, whether a lazy worker, being always late, irresponsible or an ignorant individual.

The bottom-line is, how can we resist the stereotype?

How many times have you left an impression on people that made them say, "Oh, i didn't know (people like you*) (aren't like that*) "*Insert stereotype category in both places". Whether it was your wits, a unique talent you possess or your thoughts and ideas on subjects, they are key to replace the horns people force on your head to halos.

With time, such stereotypes will vanish, leaving only positive thoughts in the minds of others, paving the way to eradicating stereotypes from our societies. Be a positive driver, and leave an impression that astonishes people, resulting in a bright halo above your head.

In the end, Halos shine, illuminating our surroundings, and possibly revealing new opportunities in our lives. ( BTW, i'm not referring to the halo in space that is made to kill all living things in the universe.. ;) for the geeks in here "Not stereotyping..")

Wave bye bye to your weaknesses

Screw your weaknesses! they don't exist.

They only do because you had to live with them for 12 years and ( for some people 4 more years). You experienced failure and you saw ugly parts of the production of your brain that you didn't want to know were there! (Ah crap i'm bad with speeches, I'm terrible at regression! .. wow i'm bad at writing AND calculating!)

It's so easy to feel incompetent and stupid, only because you were kind of forced to pass and excel things you didn't even like, but had to,because everyone around you seems fine. It's time to let go of that. If you're good at something, you're meant to be that, and do that, and yeh mix it up a little and challenge yourself, but just remember to celebrate your capabilities! I might be late in realizing that you are supposed to focus on your strengths, but i can't explain what a joy it is to finally realize i don't have to be good at different things, and can finally believe that i'm ..well...not stupid!!

Tonight i'm celebrating my traits.

A matter of love and future.

It was a night like any other, but it was her that felt different. Tonight she was a supernova that’s about to burst with an explosion so bright it would light up the night for years to come. Like a supernova she wanted to expel her insides, all her emotions and feelings that she knew if put into words would never describe the way she felt. If ever she tried to explain the way she felt the remnants of her words would leave a shockwave behind of all those who heard it, for not anyone could understand or believe what she was trying to express.

Day after day she would wish for a change, a spark to ignite the luminosity she knew she radiated day to day – but not to its fullest extent. Day after day whether rainbows or butterflies, sandstorms or cloudy days, plain or boring days those subtle changes, big to some, were not enough to entice her spirit, that is until she met him.

He was different, yet familiar. His words echoed through her head as she tried to assess the truth behind them, she wasn’t to be taken as a fool, after all this was a matter of ever after, and she was determined that her ever after be a happy one. One filled with laughter and love, trust and honesty, care and support, and children, definitely children. With laughter she would always appreciate what she has been given when she sees those who don’t laugh. Love to always have a reason to wake up in the morning. Trust to never worry again, and thereby not getting wrinkles and looking old too fast. Honesty for peace of mind and not keep track of what to say or examine every word being said to her. Care so that when her life comes to an end she can feel the achievement for caring for someone else as that’s what you remember the most. Support, because even though she may be strong, she’s vulnerable sometimes and needs someone to brush up her wings so she could fly. And last but not least children because they’re the joy of life, and she couldn’t help but smile around them, their innocence, the funny things they say, and being able to live through life all over again through them, but, yes there seems to always be a but in life, none of this would be possible without him, and now he might just be here.

He was the sun to which every sunflower would follow, would she be just another sunflower in a never-ending meadow? Or would she be the camouflaged yellow rose in the meadow that needs the sun but can face any direction she wanted? Yes, a yellow rose showing his affection would be a perfect sign for her, but how would he know that’s what she needed? She tossed and turned for nights, every part of her was begging for her ‘yes’ to his proposal, but why? Why would she feel this way after a few phone calls and meetings? Did she really find her soul mate? She did feel complete, and powerful is this the power Zeus feared when splitting up soul mates, the power of thinking that anything is possible with them by your side? Yes, its him, how can it not be if he makes her feel things so powerful that it could light up a night for many years to come.

She finally did say yes and that’s why she felt different on this night, she finally burst with joy and happiness, this was the beginning of her happily ever after with the love of her life.

Why are you trying so hard to be so different?

It really bugs me when people go above and beyond to prove they are different! I mean we all have our unique qualities and differences, and some of us do actually have REALLY different tastes than what mainstream media dictates, but what's annoying are those people who PURPOSELY force differences to just be different. For example, the won't listen to "pop" music because its "gay" and would rather listen to a garage+trance band that is practically tone deaf just to be different, or say they're into archaeology (random I know) just because many people wouldn't say that, or they wouldn't 'lower' themselves to watch stupid reality shows because they're above and beyond that, the list goes on...

One very evident example here is "Anime" and the love for "Japan". A few years ago the amount of people that liked anime and Japanese culture could probably be counted on one hand, make that one finger. Today, EVERYONE is into Anime and they're all "different" because they're basking in this different culture, and different genre of shows. Its NOT different when everybody is doing it, its mainstream now. You're not different, you're the same. You were different at some point if you were really one of the beginning few that were counted as the one finger and everyone had no idea what you're talking about when you said "I watch anime," but now I'm sorry to break the news to you but you're not different anymore. (I feel that way about superman, suddenly everyone is into him? but lets not go there :( ...)

We are all different, so stop trying so hard to be different, enjoy some mainstream and popular shows,music, books, clothes, etc... because it's really so much more fun when you can actually have a conversation about the things you like. I'm not saying you have to enjoy everything that everybody else likes but try it some time. I'm also not saying that you shouldn't like anything weird or awkward to everyone else because maybe you'll get someone into it someday (hope).

Anyways just wanted to get that off my chest. I feel much better now. You can stop reading now and google something weird like "bonzai kittens" and insert it into a conversation next time and be seen as weird and different. :p

How long before you get back to reality?

Okay, so its been a really long time since this blog has thoughts added to it but that is definetly not the point of this blog. I have these thoughts and you know how sometimes you are just simply sure of something its the same this time except its not absolutely solid and i need it to be becuase its for a friend. 

     So she has the usual incomplete love story where they were together for sometime and it was beautiful and then one day suddenly he e-mails her ( OMG ! ) saying "Thank You" for all that they had and hopes that she will find someone better to spend the rest of her life with! ( WTF??? ) They still keep talking like nothing had happened for you know how long .... 1 day ... 24  hours and just like that within 48 hours he detached himself from her and all that they had for so long. Fine, typical story and trust me that's not the problem. So not all love stories necessarily work out right? okay fine so this didn't? He moved on, is fine now, flirts with other girls and hardly treats her like she exists. Okay, he broke up with her so its obvious. Is that the problem? No! Its the Girl! She just can't get over it! I mean i know its going to be hard and this is her first love and yeah all that lovey-dovey stuff happened but c'mon now the relationship was less than a whole semester, or a little more than that but the point is given that she wasn't even 18 when this happened she hardly saw any of it! I mean its not the end of the world! 

         Okay so don't get me wrong but its been like what more than 1 year now and its about time she got over it! He obviously got over it and is actually doing hwat he is supposed to be doing at this point of time, study, hang out with friends, watch movies, socialize everything that a normal person would do. But all she can do is sulk about it and whine that "i didn't see him today!" or "Oh lets go look for him c'mon!" or "Omg i hate you for making me think about him!" or at the least mention of something bad about him "HEYYYYYY! Don't say that about him. He is not bad! He is so cute! You have no right to say that! " :O Hello focus here we probably didn't say anything but something like " Omg he is so freaky , he always wears that same shirt! " And then there are times when she does see him. At first she's looking all around for him and then when she sees that he is just ahead she starts fidgeting and makes a big commotion which makes him aware of her approach and then just as she hopes for a smile and a "Hi" from him, she sees the otehr person beside him who happens to be any random girl  he is talking  to, and guess what happens ... She starts fuming! She starts and doesn't end until she goes to bed! " He this.. He that  " " She this ... She that " And most of the this and that is not polite enough to be on here! 

     So In a sentence her problem is that she cannot accept the fact that although they had "good times" a long time ago, he is just not that into her now!. Where's my problem in it? I can see my friend ruining herself in this process! She doesn't give her best in anything that she does because she spends a huge percentage of her time day-dreaming about him! She gets upset over silly things like i got to see him and she didn't or he passed by and pretended like she was just another piece of furniture! It hurts me to think of how much she can put with this and how much longer can i stand this?  

  

    I tried. I told her he wasn't worth being with her, she got mad at me! I told her there are a thousand other guys who are better than him and she deserves to be with one of them, she stopped talking to me! I told her that although you guys had something special it was real while it lasted, now its nothing more than last week's stale bread. You have to get over past and live in the present! She said it was the most real thing possible and that there was nothing more to love that what she had seen! I mean is that even possible? I told her of the couple who have been married 51 years now and still say that there's so much more to love that they haven't seen! I told her that at the present there were too many other things that were real. She is a girl! Gone are the days when a girl's only identity was the man she was with! No that's not the same anymore! Girls now are independent and free! They don' habe to deal with stuff like this anymore not this young anyways! You know what she said " No a girl still needs a man in her life without which life is incomplete " ??? so i said " You have your father and brother .... " There is no arguing with her! 

    I need some one to tell this to her, I need to make her realize her worth! I just don't know what to do with her!